嫁外國人(4)：回鄉探親
同外國人結婚，因為兩個人來自兩個國家，所以會最少有其中一方要離鄉別井去另一個國家生活。
經常生活在別鄉，少不免會有思鄉之情，會想回鄉探親，見見家人朋友，吃吃家鄉小菜。於是每年的假期，總要預留一兩個星期回鄉，亦即是說，會減少了去其他國家旅行的機會和時間。對於假期少但又喜歡去不同地方旅行的人來說，要年年陪老公或老婆回鄉就好似浪費寶貴假期一樣。
如果你的honey來自一個好玩的地方，年年去玩下可能都ＯＫ，但如果他的鄉下真是一個鄉下地方，甚麼都没有，而你又要年年去同一個地方，未必一定爽。再者，你們兩個定居香港，在他家鄉可能没有自己的房子，回鄉就要住在他的家人家裏。外國人都喜歡私隠和空間，年年要招呼你們兩個可能會有點麻煩。要回鄉探親開心，記緊要同你的in-laws保持良好關係。
十分幸運地我很喜歡愛爾蘭和我的in-laws，年年有excuse去歐洲旅行，很不錯！但今年我的工作很忙，weekend都要幫人證婚，没有太多可以放長假的機會，所以我就鼓勵老公自己回鄉，不用等我。他想來想去，都未落實訂機票，我問他原因，他就話不想同我分開太耐，一星期都太耐。
看他的表情似乎是真心說話而不是甜言蜜語喎。Hee Hee….
汶萊(2010年2月4日)
最後一個full day in Brunei，由Empire Hotel搬去市中心的Sheraton，the only international five star hotel in Brunei。我之前住過世界各地不少Sheraton，所以都知what to expect，但我真的taken by surprise，這是我住過最醜樣的Sheraton，都不知何來五星級！個泳池細到似魚缸，都幾失望。香港有不少平一點的旅行團不住Empire Hotel而住Sheraton，真是天淵之別，千萬不要揀不住Empire Hotel的旅行團呀！
BSB是一個很unique 的亞洲首都，没有大城市的感覺。因為蘇丹不准許有高樓高過清真寺，所以最高的buildings都只是十幾層。我們熟悉的銀行都exist in BSB, Standard Chartered, HSBC, Citibank,全部都有亞拉伯文名，都幾得意。
走在街上，是感受不到汶萊的財富。街上的車都很舊，是舊到不會在香港見到的。人們衣著十分樸素，我没有見到人穿名牌。街上的人我看不出他們富有，但就感受到大部份人都生活安定，個個人都面帶笑容。去了幾日，未見過beggar or poor people，是少有的Asian city。地方sanitise到似Sinagpore，但比Sinagpore有character。
在city行下映下相，主要interest是水上村Kampong Ayer。對岸看來似木屋的urban slump，居然住有很多原居民，他們不是窮人，而是真的喜歡住在那環境的水上人家。政府甚至會在水上興建新的公共房屋去滿足本地人的taste。來往Kampong Ayer靠小小的木船，條河very busy。我們一走到去河邊已經有很多船夫來叫我們去對岸參觀，asking price 我相信是local price 的十倍。但好在他們一點都不煩，會take no as an answer。我覺得汶萊人都幾laidback and friendly。[click title for more......]
Cultural exchange – Irish Pub Culture (rounds system)
You may well ask what a rounds system is and fair enough because it’s an alien ritual to most Hong Kong pub-goers. It’s popular in Irish pub culture and while every Irish person has an intimate knowledge of Irish pub etiquette by instinct owing to the fact that most people’s social life revolves around drinking in pubs, they are naturally well-versed when it comes to ordering and paying for drink. 
So what’s a rounds system I hear you ask? It’s the simple process of buying a drink for everyone in your group. So, if you’re out with two friends and you decide to buy the first ‘round’ or ‘round of drinks’, you’re the one who ‘orders’ and ‘pays’ for the drinks – all three of them including one for yourself. Table service is available in many places nowadays but the more traditional way is to walk up to the bar to order a ‘round of drinks’. You place your order by speaking directly to the barman/bar-lady and you wait and then you pay after he or she hands over your drinks. Pints of Guinness require a longer wait because of the nature of the brew – more details on that famous dark beer in a later article. The second round is exactly the same as the first in that the next person in your group repeats the process. People generally stick to the same drink for the whole evening but as a courtesy a friend might stand up and say, ‘same again?, expecting a yes or an affirmative nod of the head. It’s more a gesture than a question and in Irish drinking culture almost taken for granted that the drink you start out with is the one you’ll stick with for the night. The round ordering ritual continues all the way back to the first person again. You may wonder what happens if people go to a pub for just one drink – well this rarely happens mainly because Irish people find it impossible to have just one drink and who could blame them? One is a mere warm up by Irish standards.
The rounds system is simple, well organised and ingrained in all Irish pub goers – but there are pitfalls. In a slightly larger group you could end up buying a second round if you bought in early – even Irish people get their fill after several pints of beer, believe it or not. This isn’t the end of the world but you will end up spending twice as much as your friends. And, nobody will keep an account of who spent what so the next time you’re out together the slate starts from scratch all over again. One thing to be very careful of, either as an Irish person or a non-Irish foreigner – don’t try to skip your round hoping that others won’t notice – delay tactics, or making a bee-line to the bog (toilet) or taking a cigarette break or walking off to make a timely phone call just before your turn arrives – everyone is very aware of the rounds system and will automatically know when his/her or your turn has arrived, no matter how much drink has been consumed. Don’t try to avoid your round, it is embarrassing behaviour and the people you’re with won’t respect you for it; they definitely won’t actively pursue your company in the near future. This is a big social faux pax in Irish culture. If you accidentally forget, don’t worry, you’ll be reminded, nicely.
One rather peculiar thing with Irish drinking culture and the rounds system in general is that everyone in the group will buy at least one round of drinks; then without any hesitation someone might order another round nearing the end of the night or when closing time has been announced – even though everyone still has a drink in front of them and clearly had enough. It’s as much generosity as obligatory and wasteful, beyond hospitality. It never feels good to walk away from a table of fresh pints!
Oh, and a little trinket that you might not be aware of is the ‘one for the road’ scenario. What’s that I hear you howl? If there’s a particularly good atmosphere in a pub the most enthusiastic person might ask his mates a question – ‘One for the road?, literally enquiring if everyone would like to have one more drink before they make their way home. You’d be amazed how many people don’t leave and stick around for one more!
And the one who pays is the one whose round is next!!