點解手牽狗
上個月看了一齣十分之精采的舞台劇叫點解手牽狗，故事內容講及一個男人收養了一隻來自公園的狗後對他和妻子之間的關係所産生的變化。想不到這一個月，這個故事變成真人真事。
我的好朋友每一日都會走過一個公園回家。上星期開始，她見到一隻流浪狗在那兒徘徊。那隻狗很友善，不會亂吠，看牠的行為似乎是剛剛被人遣棄的寵物。牠無人照顧，要挨餓，大熱天時又熱又渴，下大雨就淋到全身濕透。我朋友和她家人覺得牠很可憐，就去餵牠吃東西。初時牠一面吃，一面很警覺，可能試過有其他人或流浪狗突襲。很快牠已經認得誰是好人，在我朋友面前吃飽後還會很relax地伸懶腰，乖乖躺在地上。每一次見到牠認得的人，牠都會勁擺尾，跳下彈下以示歡迎，有了牠一齊行，就好似多了個保鏢。
跟一隻那麼有靈性的動物建立了關係，自然會開始考慮收養牠。我朋友本身都有養狗，自己的愛犬年老，體弱多病，終日要看獸醫。見到小狗腰痛，自己就心痛。實在不想再養多一隻寵物，無論自己抑或愛犬死先，對大家都不是好事。
詳細考慮過後，我朋友決定帶公園那隻狗去照顧動物的機構，自己出錢支付牠的生活費，起碼確保牠有兩餐温飽。剛剛這個weekend，經過多番安排，朋友租了一架van仔來接走牠。一見到朋友一家，牠就出來打招呼，乖乖讓牠們帶上狗帶。車程上牠顯得很驚慌，去到那個機構要下車時驚到全身發抖。那是我朋友第一次去那個機構，覺得環境不太理想，但都無其他辨法。臨離開時，那隻狗很想跟着他們走，真的很可憐。
這是一個無人不動容的場面。我朋友一家亦不例外。回到家後，無人能夠放得低那隻狗，再經過一輪家庭會議，就決定收養牠，昨天已去領牠回家了。
這是最完美的結局。我為我朋友和她家人的愛心而鼓掌！
有人收契仔契女，有冇人收契狗呢？
夏日婚禮 Sweetie at a summer party
上星期又去了一個天氣晴朗的戶外婚禮。那天酷熱警告，氣温高達33度，熱到差不多快溶掉。一對新人十分之細心，為女仕們提供大草帽摭太陽，亦在reception準備了防曬和蚊怕水。在每個座位上都放好大葵扇，讓賓客在儀式進行時潑涼。那麼熱的天氣，姊妹們都穿上吊帶裙，兄弟們就穿上淺色的裇衫西褲。加上個個手拿一杯冰凍的cocktail，好有summer party的感覺。在夏天結婚的新人，大可以參考這些貼心的安排。
婚禮前我收到儀式的rundown，見到ring bearer叫Sweetie。西式的婚禮一般都是由伴郎或者花仔花女負責帶戒指進場。照計Sweetie應該不是伴郎，可能只得花女一個人march in?
婚禮快要開始時，我坐在第一排等上前主持儀式。忽然聽到有幾個兄弟在叫Sweetie，跟着其中一個大叫 “Sweetie Sit”！我轉頭一看，見到一隻狗在aisle的最後排，狗背上縛了個戒指枕，超得意！原來Sweetie是他們的愛犬，由新郎的父母拖進場，將戒指交給新郎。我見那麼多次march in，這次都算最特別。不過因為Sweetie太惹人注意，搶盡風頭，居然個個（包括新郎！）都掛住望牠，而忘記新娘和她的爸爸跟着在後面march in，攪到要有人在旁邊提醒bride is coming，目光才返回真正的主角。好在是愛犬，換着新郎掛住望第二個，新娘唔嬲就假！
Is walking your dog good for your love life? – Part I
I’ll be honest and reveal the fact that I do not own a dog and I do not walk one. This article is basically another angle of approach for those who are ‘in the market’ so to speak, own a dog, and are looking to meet new people. I believe, with a degree of positive thinking one could open up a new dimension on their otherwise stagnant lifestyle and your dog will love it too because they will get to walk more.
Twenty years ago a dog was not a familiar sight on the streets or parks of the former colony and you would find that people had more children back then, so there was little or no room, or interest for that matter, in having a family pet. The old-fashioned family stereo-types possibly made it easier to meet a partner, settle down and raise a family however, times have changed. There are fewer children being born in Hong Kong, more work pressures, more hours worked and a lot less time for single professionals in particular, to find a suitable partner. It all seems so practical not to have a furry sweaty animal co-habiting in a gardenless home in a warm and humid climate, but then again, pet lovers would not agree and family pets are in abundance all over the territory, despite the sweaty aroma.
OK, so what am I getting at? For many ‘single’ established professionals in particular, there is a void to fill in their lives that money cannot buy, and that void is usually direct love and romance which comes in the shape of a partner, someone you share the most intimate parts of your life with. Meeting someone though is often so difficult that it seems an impossible challenge, a never-ending uphill tedious struggle, of sorts, often accentuated by the individual having criteria that is so far-fetched and unrealistic that they will always remain ‘single’. More on that in another article. You’ll find that many singles take up all sorts of new hobbies, travel a lot – often alone, which is not as bad as it sounds, do a lot more networking and socialising, and generally put themselves in the way of invitations more readily, all this in an effort to meet potential soul-mates or at the very least, a new boy/girlfriend. New hobbies and travel definitely open up a fresh circle of potential friends, but how often will you take up a new hobby or travel abroad? Definitely, not a routine plan. You need something that’s more readily available. Going out is a necessity to meet people and it generally will not come by flirting or virtually socialising on a social networking website. You need to go out! But, where to? Well, you can weigh up all the advantages and disadvantages of what you already do and ask yourself how successful your socialising methods have been, and how much enjoyment you got for the effort you put in. ‘Single’ pet owners can explore another avenue by becoming more active in walking their dogs. Don’t underestimate this approach. When most people are going out, they usually go with a friend or a small group. This is essentially a socialising support network and obviously makes it easier to go to bars and clubs. Your dog is your social support network and while you don’t take him/her out to bars, pet café perhaps, you do have the opportunity to walk him/her every day. That is a lot of time spent walking, usually at a slower pace. You need a genuine love of animals. Pets are not accessories. They are not watches, shoes or handbags. As in many parts of the world, pets are frequently abandoned by their ruthless owners because they don’t see them as animals, they see them as something they don’t need anymore – this argument belongs in a whole new article.
Your dog is your friend, a friend for life, and as with human friends, pets will take care of you. Having a pet, a dog to be specific, offers a realistic and down-to-earth avenue of attack to meet new people, potentially new friends. You need to go out! There’s that advice again. Don’t see dog walking as a chore, see it as exercise, and don’t leave the dog walking to your domestic helper – she could end up with the spoils. That won’t help you! And make an effort to look presentable – no pyjamas, stained T-shirts or scruffy hair – this is not going to attract the types you would like to meet. It is important to look natural, and for women, not made up to the nines – this could make you look a bit ridiculous and would possibly turn away the men you are looking for. Wear clothes to suit the weather and the activity.
Dogs love walking and need to be walked every day to keep fit and healthy. You need to find the time to walk the dog yourself – remember this is about you getting out and that’s an everyday routine, every day. Arguably, it is a lot easier to walk your dog in a park or quieter streets as the environment makes it easier to chat to other dog walkers. Nobody will stop to talk on a noisy polluted street. And don’t listen to music, nobody will talk to you if you’re listening to music, or talking on the phone. Chatting to other dog walkers is easy. You already have something in common – a dog. If you bump into someone you’d like to chat to, make an excuse by commenting on the dog. Say something positive and smile. You can spend 10 minutes just talking about the dogs, their habits, age, breed, feeding patterns, type of food, the pro and cons, grooming, etc. – it’s not rocket science, so it makes for easy conversation. If you happen to bump into that person again, you already are familiar despite not knowing anything about each other but you’ll already know the dog’s name, so this in itself is more personalised. You can address the dog first, affectionately, then the other party. Remember that the key focus for the initial stages should be the dogs and not the people. Over a period of time if there is a tendency for both parties to stop and chat then this is a clear sign that there is a keenness to interact more – and the conversation will eventually move on to non-dog related topics. It is likely that one party will initiate an invitation to do something eventually, possibly dog related or a gathering in town. Don’t underestimate these little trivial conversations; they could be forming the bond between you and another stranger –
So it seems that there’s plenty of room for a family pet, usually a very well-manicured, well-groomed canine, not to fill the void of a partner in your life, but as a companion and friend – think of your pet as a friend that can help you meet others, a social support companion as mentioned earlier, a kind of partner in crime, a displacement, or simply put – an attractive magnet. Dogs are born to walk besides other things and generally love the interaction with people. Choose your dog carefully. If you are a straight athletic man, you can’t be seen walking a Poodle dressed in a pink jacket. Being in the presence of this breed and in this guise could send out misleading signals and will probably attract members of the same gender. If you are not straight, then the poodle is perfect. There’s no guarantee, but you definitely need to be aware of the stereo-types attached to certain breeds so that the signals sent out are the right ones. Most sensible and humane people in Hong Kong have smaller dogs, for obvious reasons – no garden, remember?
Stay tuned for more in Part II…