Holland – A progressive country
18 years ago I went to Holland for the first time to visit my dear Dutch friend.
It was eye-opening to get to know more about the Dutch culture, a progressive and open-minded society. Holland is one of the few places I’ve been to that legalises prostitution. Tourists can walk around the red light district in Amsterdam where ladies of the night sit behind windows just like a boutique. Sex is not a taboo like it is in Chinese culture. I went to the Sex Museum and sat in front of a huge plastic dick – the picture was published in the “Next Magazine” in Hong Kong. Just to emphasise, that was 18 years ago. I wouldn’t let people see me in front of a plastic dick now……
The motto of free choice also extends to the legalisation of drugs. There are cafes that sell grass and people can go there to smoke their joint. It is a novelty for tourists but commonplace in Holland. The society is so free and doesn’t restrict people’s activities. It is up to the people to make up their own minds as to what is or is not good for them. People are brought up to make responsible decisions for themselves. This is one of the things I admire most in a progressive society.
One daily occurrence that amazed me during my first visit to Holland was the effort they put into recycling. They save everything for recycling – paper, glass, plastic, egg containers…… It seems so normal to us now in Hong Kong, but recycling was a very new concept that wasn’t put into practice at all 18 years ago. I realise that Holland is way ahead of the rest of the world for a lot of things. If we follow the trend of Holland, there might be futuristic business opportunities. Watch this space!!
Throughout the years, I went to Holland quite a number of times. Last year, I noticed a new trend there – organic products. There is real emphasis on buying organic vegetables, meat, clothes, cosmetics, etc. People almost feel obliged to do less harm to the environment as much as to their own bodies. Organic products are just starting to sell in Hong Kong and it’s by and large branded as healthy but expensive. It will take us years to catch up on our willingness to spend the extra dollars for the better quality and our awareness to conserve the world’s resources. Maybe, in 18 years from now, Hong Kong will become an organic products paradise.
Fly me to Fiji
I am going to Dubai this Thursday for Easter holiday and have booked a trip to Shanghai Expo in June. This morning my cousin was talking about organising a good food trip to Taiwan in May…… which, for many is hard to resist. Amidst all this trip planning, I still managed to sidetrack to look at other deals. A special promotion package to Fiji caught my attention.
Air Pacific began its direct flight service to Hong Kong in December last year. I have been keeping an eye on good deals to go there in the better travel months, May to October. Finally, some travel agents offer packages which are valid till 30 June 2010.
If you book flights on the Air Pacific website, the ticket price starts from $5099, including all taxes and charges. It is very reasonable considering it’s a 10 hour flight. Strangely, the same codeshare flight costs $6140 if you book through the Cathay Pacific website.
I thought the air ticket was a good deal until I found the packages on offer. Flight + 4 nights accommodation in 5 star hotel starts from $7520. I have made an initial enquiry and it’s available on the dates that I want to travel – I am not going to tell you my dates here, in case you go ahead and book the same dates and they sell out the cheapest class of air ticket…. Heehee… From my preliminary search, Miramar Travel offers the lowest price for the same flight + hotels package.
I feel greedy in planning so many trips, so I tested the water to see how my husband would react to yet another holiday. His response goes like this:
“You’re not greedy! I suppose we just have one life – why not live it. I’m interested!”
Seriously, there are reasons why I keep loving him!
Fly me to Fiji!!!!
感人的來信
昨天晚上我焗了非常美味的roast beef做dinner，牛味甘香，入口即溶，一家人吃得津津有味。個個都飲飽食醉，吃剩最後一件，人人都話太飽吃不下。這並不是甚麼罕見的情形。
今朝早，收到我助養的小孩的來信。他說他收到我寄去的錢，買了保暖的棉帽棉鞋棉褲棉被。看了他的來信，我感動得差點哭了出來。他只是一個六年級的小學生，已失去父母成為孤兒。我們認為最基本的禦寒衣物，他要收到捐款才可以買得到，還要逐件逐件慎而重之地報告價錢，以示他將錢用得其所。我們在家中有一大堆禦寒衣物，一年都只穿得幾次。在不會下雪的香港，貪得意會買兩件雪褸，去滑雪旅行時還可以選擇帶那件去較襯色。同人不同命，大家都是中國人，但他的生活條件實在跟香港人相差太遠。
最令我個心戚住戚住的，就是他說他會將剩下的錢用來改善生活，打算每個星期買一些肉吃。我們在香港經常吃肉太多太飽，但他正在發育時期，要靠資助來買肉吃，而且是以星期計，而不是日日有得食。昨晚我們一家人將件Australian beef你推我讓的情景，跟他的處境實在太大contrast。活在香港充裕的環境，實在無法去想像物資短缺的滋味。
以前他的來信都是說一些小孩的話，內容似是抄template的感謝信。但現在見他日漸成長，今次會告訴我他取得全班第三名，但他覺得這點成績不算甚麼，一定會取得更好的成績來報答我。真是生性。
雖然我未見過他的真人，但我對他有期望，希望他一直努力，我可以供他上大學。
Read related blog: 送份有意義的聖誕禮物
高EQ vs 衰同事
我的朋友公認我是一個EQ高的人。我對很多事都可以處之泰然，常常都好似好開心，没有煩惱。我從没有試過EQ test，所以我不知道我是EQ高過人，還是我好彩過人，因而没有甚麼事煩倒我。我有一個classic example，看完之後或者你可以話我知到底我EQ高不高。
我以前有一個同事，個人的性格和工作態度都是我多年見過最差的。基本上可以在他身上apply的貶義詞，一張紙都寫唔晒。Personally，我不會跟這樣的人做朋友。但工作上，我就没有選擇，日日都要對住他，還要客客氣氣。可能好多人都會覺得他很難頂，但我就想出一個defence mechanism，令自己好過一點。我叫自己不要當他是一個人。只要他不是一個人，我就不可以用人的尺度去benchmark去批評他的為人和行為。自私，懶惰，不負責任，見高拜見低踩，這些都是人的quality，所以不可以apply to a non-human being。我當他是office中的一個存在物體，一件hardware。我不會對一件物體付諸任何感情，不會試圖去理解它的行為模式或者存在價值意義。I just so happen to exist in the same place with this non-human being。我不應被他影響我的情緒，正如我不會因為office張櫈唔好坐而發脾氣或者唔開心。
冇人明白我點樣可以當人唔係人，但又可以日日一齊工作。我又覺得冇咩所謂，打份工啫，開心咪得囉，洗乜理我點樣自欺欺人呢。
Similar post: 高EQ vs 時薪
How to stay happy in a relationship (5): Be Honest
The less to hide, the happier and the longer the marriage.
我有個friend讀心理學，剛剛幫她填了份問巻，個標題就是上面這句話。個hypothesis so obvious，應該好容易prove得到。不必讀心理學，有少少common sense都想得到啦。
一個簡簡單單的人，樣樣事都見得光，可以大大方方毫無保留地與人分享，心中没有不可告人的秘密，是一個有福的人。我相信越少秘密的人，是越幸福的人。Happy individual，更容易成就happy relationship。忽然我想起“畢打自己人”做臥底的社長，心中沉殿着個大秘密，怎可能跟老總有快樂的關係呢。
如果一個人心中有秘密，但能夠找到一個可信，可以分享心深處秘密的伴侶，可能比没有秘密的清白人更加有福氣。因為人總是會想將自己最醜陋最黑暗的一面藏起來。願意打開心窗，坦誠地分享秘密，需要勇氣，需要信任，需要諒解，甚至需要原諒。你想想，你有多少個真心朋友，是你願意分享秘密的？你珍惜那個人的友誼嗎？如果那個人是你的終身伴侶，你都會珍惜，這樣的marriage自然會維繫得更好。
不論在婚姻關係還是日常待人接物，誠實當然重要。講了一個大話，就要時時刻刻緊記着，避免講inconsistent的話去拆穿之前的大話，更可能要講更多大話，去掩飾或配合之前的謊言。一段婚姻，隨時last幾十年。要記着講過的大話幾十年，邊度記得咁多呀？所以，老老套套的saying是對的: Honesty is the best policy.
一家便宜兩家着
最近有一個毫不相識的人找我証婚。我問她怎樣找到我的contact details啦，她居然說是在入境處個婚姻監禮人的list上找到我—她喜歡我的email address。個list有百幾頁長，有成千個civil celebrant，我自己揾自己個名都差點有困難，她都可以找到我，一定是緣份。
我和她一開始email就click了。她想在海灘結婚，我就最喜歡這些非一般的浪漫婚禮，我十分之熱衷去回答她的問題。講講下，她話想坐遊艇去個少人的沙灘行禮，就更啱晒我。我最鐘意遊船河。以前我間公司有遊艇可以供員工租用，自從没有在那兒工作之後，我都未去過遊船河。
她很concern怕出海要花我很長的時間。她有這個concern很正常，因為據我所知，很多律師都是限定時間，超時加錢。我從來都不會有時間限制，但都未試過用六小時去證婚。於是我厚着面皮問她可否叫我老公一齊去陪我，她就好大方地邀請我的husband to join her wedding party。我和老公兩個就無端端有得去遊船河，她就好開心我們咁flexible，任由她安排時間地點。這就是真正的一家便宜兩家着！
我覺得幫人証婚，首要是自己enjoy。如果連我都不enjoy個過程，我怎能自然流露happy mood，更莫說要在婚禮上攪好氣氛。
Is walking your dog good for your love life? – Part I
I’ll be honest and reveal the fact that I do not own a dog and I do not walk one. This article is basically another angle of approach for those who are ‘in the market’ so to speak, own a dog, and are looking to meet new people. I believe, with a degree of positive thinking one could open up a new dimension on their otherwise stagnant lifestyle and your dog will love it too because they will get to walk more.
Twenty years ago a dog was not a familiar sight on the streets or parks of the former colony and you would find that people had more children back then, so there was little or no room, or interest for that matter, in having a family pet. The old-fashioned family stereo-types possibly made it easier to meet a partner, settle down and raise a family however, times have changed. There are fewer children being born in Hong Kong, more work pressures, more hours worked and a lot less time for single professionals in particular, to find a suitable partner. It all seems so practical not to have a furry sweaty animal co-habiting in a gardenless home in a warm and humid climate, but then again, pet lovers would not agree and family pets are in abundance all over the territory, despite the sweaty aroma.
OK, so what am I getting at? For many ‘single’ established professionals in particular, there is a void to fill in their lives that money cannot buy, and that void is usually direct love and romance which comes in the shape of a partner, someone you share the most intimate parts of your life with. Meeting someone though is often so difficult that it seems an impossible challenge, a never-ending uphill tedious struggle, of sorts, often accentuated by the individual having criteria that is so far-fetched and unrealistic that they will always remain ‘single’. More on that in another article. You’ll find that many singles take up all sorts of new hobbies, travel a lot – often alone, which is not as bad as it sounds, do a lot more networking and socialising, and generally put themselves in the way of invitations more readily, all this in an effort to meet potential soul-mates or at the very least, a new boy/girlfriend. New hobbies and travel definitely open up a fresh circle of potential friends, but how often will you take up a new hobby or travel abroad? Definitely, not a routine plan. You need something that’s more readily available. Going out is a necessity to meet people and it generally will not come by flirting or virtually socialising on a social networking website. You need to go out! But, where to? Well, you can weigh up all the advantages and disadvantages of what you already do and ask yourself how successful your socialising methods have been, and how much enjoyment you got for the effort you put in. ‘Single’ pet owners can explore another avenue by becoming more active in walking their dogs. Don’t underestimate this approach. When most people are going out, they usually go with a friend or a small group. This is essentially a socialising support network and obviously makes it easier to go to bars and clubs. Your dog is your social support network and while you don’t take him/her out to bars, pet café perhaps, you do have the opportunity to walk him/her every day. That is a lot of time spent walking, usually at a slower pace. You need a genuine love of animals. Pets are not accessories. They are not watches, shoes or handbags. As in many parts of the world, pets are frequently abandoned by their ruthless owners because they don’t see them as animals, they see them as something they don’t need anymore – this argument belongs in a whole new article.
Your dog is your friend, a friend for life, and as with human friends, pets will take care of you. Having a pet, a dog to be specific, offers a realistic and down-to-earth avenue of attack to meet new people, potentially new friends. You need to go out! There’s that advice again. Don’t see dog walking as a chore, see it as exercise, and don’t leave the dog walking to your domestic helper – she could end up with the spoils. That won’t help you! And make an effort to look presentable – no pyjamas, stained T-shirts or scruffy hair – this is not going to attract the types you would like to meet. It is important to look natural, and for women, not made up to the nines – this could make you look a bit ridiculous and would possibly turn away the men you are looking for. Wear clothes to suit the weather and the activity.
Dogs love walking and need to be walked every day to keep fit and healthy. You need to find the time to walk the dog yourself – remember this is about you getting out and that’s an everyday routine, every day. Arguably, it is a lot easier to walk your dog in a park or quieter streets as the environment makes it easier to chat to other dog walkers. Nobody will stop to talk on a noisy polluted street. And don’t listen to music, nobody will talk to you if you’re listening to music, or talking on the phone. Chatting to other dog walkers is easy. You already have something in common – a dog. If you bump into someone you’d like to chat to, make an excuse by commenting on the dog. Say something positive and smile. You can spend 10 minutes just talking about the dogs, their habits, age, breed, feeding patterns, type of food, the pro and cons, grooming, etc. – it’s not rocket science, so it makes for easy conversation. If you happen to bump into that person again, you already are familiar despite not knowing anything about each other but you’ll already know the dog’s name, so this in itself is more personalised. You can address the dog first, affectionately, then the other party. Remember that the key focus for the initial stages should be the dogs and not the people. Over a period of time if there is a tendency for both parties to stop and chat then this is a clear sign that there is a keenness to interact more – and the conversation will eventually move on to non-dog related topics. It is likely that one party will initiate an invitation to do something eventually, possibly dog related or a gathering in town. Don’t underestimate these little trivial conversations; they could be forming the bond between you and another stranger –
So it seems that there’s plenty of room for a family pet, usually a very well-manicured, well-groomed canine, not to fill the void of a partner in your life, but as a companion and friend – think of your pet as a friend that can help you meet others, a social support companion as mentioned earlier, a kind of partner in crime, a displacement, or simply put – an attractive magnet. Dogs are born to walk besides other things and generally love the interaction with people. Choose your dog carefully. If you are a straight athletic man, you can’t be seen walking a Poodle dressed in a pink jacket. Being in the presence of this breed and in this guise could send out misleading signals and will probably attract members of the same gender. If you are not straight, then the poodle is perfect. There’s no guarantee, but you definitely need to be aware of the stereo-types attached to certain breeds so that the signals sent out are the right ones. Most sensible and humane people in Hong Kong have smaller dogs, for obvious reasons – no garden, remember?
Stay tuned for more in Part II…