婚姻監禮 Civil Celebrant

證婚律師淡旺季

很多行業的生意額都有季節性,做證婚律師都有很明顯的淡旺季。

全年最淡的月份是八月,農曆七月孟蘭節,中國習俗上會避免在這個月結婚。做結婚花球的老板都話這個時候結婚的多是已經大咗肚等不切的人。次淡月是四月,因為是清明節,也是習俗上會避免的,但没有鬼節那麼大禁忌,所以都有些比較西化的人在四月結婚,貪四月頭可以利用復活節假期去honeymoon,四月其餘日子是旅遊淡季,以後去anniversary trip都可以便宜一點。

婚禮旺季是由十月至下一年的農曆新年前。秋冬季天氣乾爽,不怕受打風落雨影響。2010年10月10日取其十全十美之意,所以是全年的大熱日子之冠。聖誔節期間都是大熱門,有人居然計過聖誔節會有很多同事(尤其是外國人)會出外旅遊或回鄉過節,可以收他們的人情禮物而不需要請他們飲。另一個聖誔結婚的好處是那段時間到處充滿歡樂的節日氣氛,很多工作在那段時間都會比較清閒,所以以後每年結婚週年都可以不用OT,開開心心地度過。

好嘢,八月淡季,我可以輕輕鬆鬆放暑假!

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不想要回頭客

很多行業都是靠做熟客生意,時裝店和食肆都是靠一班忠實的顧客不停重複回去幫襯,維持營業額。做證婚律師不同,我絶對不希望有return customer,結完婚離完婚後第二次結婚再找我證婚。

幾個月前我幫一對新人證婚,當時他們跟其他的新人毫無異樣,開開心心地行禮。最近我在Facebook發現他們把relationship status由Married改為Single,原本是結婚相的profile picture就改為獨照。我十分之震驚,咁絶,relationship連It’s complicated都不是,一下子就變為Single?我不想面對現實,幾個月前還是恩恩愛愛,發生了甚麼事呢?現代愛情真的那麼兒嬉?我很希望是virus或黑客入侵他們的account,其實他們還是happily married。我有衝動email他們求證,但又好似好八卦,而且如果他們真的分開了,聽到我這個婚姻監禮人就會勾起結婚當日的情景,我就好似在傷口上灑鹽。

警訊呼籲:如果有任何市民知道該兩名人仕的去向,請盡快與本人聯絡。

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重返律師樓

Update一下我的近況:現在我在一間律師樓上班,又做番以前一路做開的企業融資律師工作。去年胆粗粗一心想試下不同類型的工作,就開始幫人證婚。過了一段悠閒的日子,有個朋友十萬火急要找人去她的law firm幫手,我就join了她的law firm,不經不覺都做了幾個月了。姻緣際遇,我真的没有想過會重返律師樓。因為是為了幫朋友(當然亦有很大部份上班的誘因是我十分之enjoy見到出糧戶口的credit entry!),所以一開始就約法三章,我要maintain work life balance,不要OT,不要weekend上班,讓我可以繼續做我喜歡的證婚工作和放假去旅行。於是我就為自己創造了一個很多人眼中的理想工作環境。我覺得自己很幸運,這樣的機會不是每一個人都可以擁有。

我不會忘記人生每一日都應該好好珍惜,好好享受。過程(日日上班)和結果(出糧)同樣重要。昨日聽到一個準新娘說,她希望可以快點完成婚禮,之後就有時間調整和享受人生。我不明白點解要為籌備婚禮咁stressful,不是應該好好enjoy每一刻的preparation嗎?結婚是一世人一次,當然想盡善盡美。但是為了一天完美的大婚之日而忘記了享受整個籌備的過程,令自己受很多個月的stress,是不是有點本末倒置呢?

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好興奮呀!

幫人證婚,給我機會接觸不同層面的人,認識新朋友,擴濶生活圈子。有時,會帶來意外收獲。

昨日約了一對上個月結婚的couple出來相聚,他們剛剛從克羅地亞和黑山honeymoon回來。我book了九月去這兩個國家,所以就想問下他們旅遊資料和推薦的好去處。平時多數是我提供旅遊資料給別人,今次有人去過這兩個都算冷門的地方,可以同我share,實在難得。

前南斯拉夫在90年初內戰後分裂,現在分為六個國家,克羅地亞和黑山就是沿海的兩個。黑山在2006年才成立,是世界上最新的一個國家。兩個國家雖然新成立,但有很多歷史悠久的建築,看似意大利南部紅瓦頂橙黃色外牆的小屋,沿海而建的村落。沿岸有很多島嶼,有少少似希臘,又有少少似西西里島。最吸引人的就是這些地方旅遊業還不太developed,除了七八月的high season以外,遊人不多,保留着傳統地中海的特式。

他們兩個說他們的honeymoon簡直perfect,風景優美,又relaxing。那兒的食物勁好味,克羅地亞有新鮮海鮮,黑山有大大份牛扒,最正就是價錢相宜,去最靚的餐廳都不會太貴,可以放胆豪飲豪吃。當我老公聽到他們說在酒吧飲啤酒只是港幣20元時,我可以看到他眼中的興奮!

昨晚令我眼裏充滿興奮的,是另一件事。這對couple的女仔在一間名牌時裝公司工作,是我其中一個最喜歡的牌子,平時我一定只會等減價才去逛逛。昨日她告訴我,她可以用她的personal quota幫我買東西,所有貨品全部五折。她說她的quota不多,所以只是especially for me!半價呀,我好興奮呀!

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讚美的說話(2):More than Civil Celebrant

去完上一篇Blog講有Sweetie狗狗的婚禮後,好開心地接連收到那對新人多謝我的email。做證婚律師最happy就是這份滿足感。得到別人的認同和讚賞,使我更加肯定自己工作的價值。

我不是全心自己讚自己,但真的想和你分享一下他們的feedback。

第一次見面時我見證他們簽署擬結婚通知書,傾下婚禮的ideas,之後我就send 了speech/reading的examples給他們,介紹他們去那兒買結婚證書套,check下他們honeymoon住的酒店是否之前有個朋友向我推介的其中一間。其實我只是憑我的經驗send D links給他們,但他們就覺得很受用。原來他們曾經interview過幾個婚姻監禮人,與我見面後就感覺到我的passion,同其他律師不一樣。

Extract from their emails:

“We are both so thrilled to meet you today and very grateful to have found a special civil celebrant that understands our hopes for our happy day.”

“You are truly one of the most amazing persons that I’ve met during the whole preparation :)

他們婚禮的colour scheme是綠色和淺啡色,我就在家中換上不同的衣著,還要舉起12345隻手指去number每一套衫,映相send給他們,讓他們揀我著那一套衫去他們的婚禮。映完相之後我都覺得自己好攪笑,那裏會有律師這麼做呢?不過就是人冇我有,我有一種優越感。因此,他們感受到我的用心。

Extract from their emails:

“Thank you for your email and thoughtfulness! We are so impressed with the pictures and numbering!”

到到婚禮當日,一見到新娘,她就話我好靚。我就話那句說話應該是我跟她說的。哈哈,幾好,給她揀我穿她喜歡的衣服,就有人讚我靚,幾咁開心。 想不到新娘十分之觀察入眉,留意到我把誓詞印在綠色的notecard去襯色。遇上知音人欣賞,份外高興。當日本來會有採排,但因為時間太趕迫而取消了,我就分別跟每一個見證人,司儀,伴郞等人做briefing,婚禮非常順利地進行,場面感人而且美麗。

Extract from their emails and facebook comments:

“Thank you for making our wedding so special and memorable with you there! We are deeply grateful for your invaluable role and your kindest understanding!”

“Thank you once again for helping on our wedding day. Seriously you did a great job, very impressive, and so good that we can never imagine!”

“Thanks Anna! You are wonderful. We never thought our needs could be catered to at such levels. You are not just more than honeymoon – you are much more than a civil celebrant!”

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夏日婚禮 Sweetie at a summer party

上星期又去了一個天氣晴朗的戶外婚禮。那天酷熱警告,氣温高達33度,熱到差不多快溶掉。一對新人十分之細心,為女仕們提供大草帽摭太陽,亦在reception準備了防曬和蚊怕水。在每個座位上都放好大葵扇,讓賓客在儀式進行時潑涼。那麼熱的天氣,姊妹們都穿上吊帶裙,兄弟們就穿上淺色的裇衫西褲。加上個個手拿一杯冰凍的cocktail,好有summer party的感覺。在夏天結婚的新人,大可以參考這些貼心的安排。


婚禮前我收到儀式的rundown,見到ring bearer叫Sweetie。西式的婚禮一般都是由伴郎或者花仔花女負責帶戒指進場。照計Sweetie應該不是伴郎,可能只得花女一個人march in?

婚禮快要開始時,我坐在第一排等上前主持儀式。忽然聽到有幾個兄弟在叫Sweetie,跟着其中一個大叫 “Sweetie Sit”!我轉頭一看,見到一隻狗在aisle的最後排,狗背上縛了個戒指枕,超得意!原來Sweetie是他們的愛犬,由新郎的父母拖進場,將戒指交給新郎。我見那麼多次march in,這次都算最特別。不過因為Sweetie太惹人注意,搶盡風頭,居然個個(包括新郎!)都掛住望牠,而忘記新娘和她的爸爸跟着在後面march in,攪到要有人在旁邊提醒bride is coming,目光才返回真正的主角。好在是愛犬,換着新郎掛住望第二個,新娘唔嬲就假!


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Sunshine Wedding

Just for my lucky record, to date I have solemnised a few weddings in the outdoors, and all of them accompanied by welcome sunshine. Beautiful weather for happy couples at a beautiful wedding, making the civil celebrant more beautiful?! I wish!

It’s tricky to plan outdoor events in Hong Kong. It can be too hot or too cold, worse still, it can be rainy or even affected by a typhoon. Choosing an outdoor venue entails a certain amount of risk, though most hotels and restaurants offer an indoor alternative as a contingency plan. With the uncertainty of weather-related risk in mind, when the wedding day turns out to have clear blue skies, everything feels even more perfect! It seems like someone is looking over to bless this marriage.

The past weekend I went to another memorable fine weather wedding. Blue sky, sea breeze, sunshine on the green lawn, and with the South China Sea as a backdrop. The western style ceremony suited the outdoor setting very well. Music plays an essential and important role in setting the mood of an occasion, especially a wedding. In this instance, the live performance of a string trio added to the romantic atmosphere. The groom and I were the first ones to march in, followed by groomsmen and bridesmaids.

As the string trio started to play the classic “Cannon in D”, the bride marched in with her father; her long gorgeous wedding gown glowed under the sun, and so did she! It was such a beautiful scene. The groom, standing next to me, was crying with joy. Many guests had tissues to wipe away their tears before the bride even reached the front.

Then, the moment when the father of the bride handed over his daughter to the groom – I find, that this is often the most symbolic moment for the bride. Now you are going to be someone’s wife, not daddy’s little girl anymore. One hug from daddy, now you will build your own family. The couple were filled with tears of absolute joy; they cried and laughed at the same time, looking like Miss Hong Kong overwhelmed by winning the title. I fought back the tears myself - I had a ceremony to conduct and preferably, with a clear voice rather than a runny nose.

The couple were thrilled with the wedding ceremony. The groom complimented me for my part and held his thumbs aloft. The bride gave me a big hug as a thank you. I just couldn’t thank them enough for letting me be a part of such a sweet and beautiful occasion.

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邊個死先好?

有一次同一對新人傾結婚誓詞,我一問新郎哥有咩想講,他就好似反射反應般快,想都不用想就話想他們兩個差不多時間死。真是大吉利是!好在不用我出聲,新娘已好快地ban了他的提議。其實想深一層,他的想法是幾sweet,幾可以理解。

兩個人結了婚就成為一個組合,喪失配偶就好似失去了自己的一半,得番半條人命,點算呀……這肯定是一件非常之慘痛的事,再生存落去,要有一定難度的適應期。兩個人同一時間或者差不多時候離世,就可以減低甚至避免這痛苦。

早去世的一個走得快好世界,剩下的一個獨自經歷悲痛。講得衰啲,係早死早着!

當然兩個人在一起都希望可以白頭到老,而不是鬥死得早。我覺得反而是鬥長命,長命過老公或者老婆,stay healthy,一生照顧他/她,免得他/她受喪偶之痛。

有一日,我都不知道發咩癲,又真心又情深地跟我老公說,我希望他比我早死,因為我不想他不開心,(假設我們死時還是相愛)我估我EQ高啲,或者會比他較平靜地handle失去至愛。講完之後,我自己都surprise by myself。原來愛一個人,真的會想將最好的給予他,保護他免受傷害。哈哈,我覺得自己好偉大呀!

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重遇攝影師

昨晚去見證一個婚禮,一去到個攝影師過來跟我打招呼。望真一點,啊,他是我多年没見的大學同學呀。他為興趣,業餘做攝影師。昨晚遇上,真是巧合!

原來他已經做了婚禮攝影師幾年,他有自己的網站(www.together.hk)。我寫這篇blog前剛剛去看過他的網站,D相映得好靚好專業呢!

我們閒聊,他輕描淡寫地告訴我,他會出埠幫人映相,client支付全費包食包住,去過Maldives, Bali, Phuket等地方。他講完之後,見我張大嘴巴,問我點解兩隻眼在發光。哇哇哇!原來天下間有這樣的筍工,免費去這些世外桃源!馬爾代夫的酒店閒閒地都要成五六千蚊一晚,他可以免費有得去?我怎可以不羨慕到暈?這樣的兼職,去邊度揾呀?最衰做證婚律師只局限於香港舉行的婚禮,我就没有他好運,不會有機會免費遊埠。

新娘子知道我們舊朋友重遇,角色大轉移,幫我和攝影師合照。


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Fairytale Wedding

A fairytale wedding can take place anywhere and you don’t always have to invite Mickey or Minnie. Everyone has his or her own interpretation of a fairytale wedding. I have just been to one, last Saturday.

As it happens, that Saturday was the first sunny weekend in Hong Kong in recent months. It seems like someone answered the prayers for balmy sunny weather on the wedding day. The sun came out to smile and shine on the couple and all those present. The main characters of the fairytale – the prince and princess – looked gorgeous, just like models in a wedding magazine. There was no over-the-top white or gold tuxedo or long unmanageable wedding gown. The prince and the princess dressed in suitably tropical styles, a linen suit for the man and a cream-coloured silk dress for his bride – perfect style and colour scheme for a beach wedding. Yes, the setting of the fairytale was on a sandy beach. They hired a junk and took all the guests to a quiet beach on an island in Sai Kung. The beach is so beautiful and reminded me of Thailand. So we don’t need to fly away to search for natural beauty – there are many hidden gems in Hong Kong if you are in the mood to discover them.

The ceremony was short and very sweet. The couple wrote their own vows – they truly meant what they promised each other. We signed the marriage certificate standing on the beach. At the end of the ceremony, as a Jewish wedding tradition, the groom broke a glass by hitting it against a rock. Someone wrapped the glass in a towel to contain the broken glass – no littering, and also to protect the groom from a visit to casualty! The breaking of glass symbolises that perfection is relative to imperfection. It is also a reminder that even in times of great joy that there is sadness and that life will bring sadness as well as joy.

The wedding party continued on the junk accompanied by gourmet food and wine. It was a hearty feast appropriate to any fairytale kingdom. Then, time to cut the wedding cake. Guests asked the couple to make a wish, and the groom said, “If this isn’t a dream come true, what is?” This is not a rehearsed conversation; the groom spoke from his heart. I recommend any fairytale story book to include this line; it’s sensationally beautiful. As a tradition, the couple gave speeches. Many tears were shed because everyone was so genuinely happy for the union of such a good relationship. I also shed my first tear in my professional capacity as a civil celebrant.

On our return journey back to the harbour, everyone was relaxed and many fell asleep on the upper deck of the junk, including the bride and groom. I have never seen married couples so unstressed at their wedding, it was so natural and a pleasure to see what a wedding day can be like when all the fuss is removed. That is what I saw as the fairytale moment – being content, happy, relaxed and totally enjoying themselves and the good company of family and friends around them.

It wasn’t just a happy ending, it’s also a happy beginning. I wish the prince and princess will live happily ever after!


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